Sexy Chick
by De'Letris
Summary: AU: Of course, Kanda couldn’t fathom the reason why he agreed to come to the club that night but whatever the reason, he mentally slapped himself for being so stupid as to actually coming.


Damn Yuu's a Sexy Chick

JUST A SHORT FIC THAT I JUST _HAD _TO WRITE AND TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW I'M NOT DEAD. I SWEAR I'M WORKING ON UPDATING MY OTHER FICS BUT, GODDAMNIT! TOO MUCH SHIT GOING ON. I 100% BLAME THIS STORY ON cari-STONIE.

WARNING: MILD VIOLENCE AND LANGUAGE.

DISCLAIMER: DGM BELONGS TO HOSHINA KATSURA AND SEXY CHICK BELONGS TO ITS RESPECTFUL OWNERS.

Yuu Kanda was _not_ a social person what-so-ever. He did not like people nor did he like crowded places or any place with other people for that matter. In fact, he didn't like many things (you'd be surprised by how long his mental list is). So why, was Yuu Kanda of all people, standing outside a club entrance glaring one of his scariest glares at the blinding (and horrendous) neon (and _rainbow_) sign flashing above the entrance? That would be Lavi's fault of course.

Of course, Kanda couldn't fathom the reason why he agreed to come to the club that night but whatever the reason, he mentally slapped himself for being so stupid as to actually coming. But what the hell, it gave Kanda another reason to sock Lavi in the face.

"Yuu-chan!" Said redhead in question beamed. "C'mon! Let's get in already! You've been glaring at the sign for 10 minutes now!"

Lavi grabbed his friend's arm and dragged him towards the bouncers. Kanda went from glaring at the sign to glaring at the offending hand latched onto his wrist hoping that his glares were intense enough to burn Lavi's hand. Kanda absently noted Lavi high-fiving the bouncer and absently realized that the bouncer was Marie, a 'friend' back in the days. Geeze, did that make him sound as old as he thought? Probably.

As soon as Kanda was dragged into the most likely unclean depths of the club he wished that he was back in the safety and quiet and cleanliness of his apartment. But alas, Lavi's grip on his wrist was unwavering…at least until they reached the bar. As soon as Lavi let go of his wrist and whirled into an animated description of the drinks he wanted with the bartender Kanda was going to book it out of there as fast as he could but that idea seemed to die out as Kanda saw the sea of people surrounding him.

Yeah, he _really_ hated crowds, especially in limited spaces aka clubs. There were lights of all different colors flashing everywhere and bodies grinding on the dance floor and slutty girls looking for a quick fuck but mostly everyone turning them away figuring they were most likely walking STD's. God, Kanda hated clubs….a lot.

His observing was cut short when a glass was shoved in his line of vision which made him stare at it slightly cross-eyed in which Lavi got a good laugh out of; ladies and gentlemen, yet another reason for Lavi to get socked by Kanda later.

"What…is _this_?" Kanda asked pushing the Lavi's arm away from him to get a better look at the drink. It was light green but it was fizzy looking. It wasn't something Kanda had ever seen before.

Lavi just smiled mischievously. "It's my special mix. Drink up! It's good!"

Kanda stared at the drink in mild disturbance. A concoction that Lavi makes is never a good one. Back in second year Chemistry, Lavi randomly mixed together chemicals that he didn't even know the name of let alone its properties and blew all the windows out of their frames. And quite frankly the Chemistry room had a lot of windows.

So instead when Lavi wasn't looking he slid the concoction down the island towards a completely drunk guy who grabbed it and downed it one go.

"Hey! Come on! Let's go dance!" Lavi turned and yelled over the music enthusiastically.

Kanda stared at the redhead as if the redhead knew nothing about the Japanese male.

"I. Don't. Dance. Ever." Kanda replied in a 'don't fuck with me' manner.

"Aww! Come on! Please? Please? PLEASE?" Lavi whined grabbing onto Kanda's forearm in a desperate plea.

"You're touching me. _Why_ are you touching me?" Kanda hissed trying to shake off Lavi.

"If you dance to ONE song I'll let you go home!" Lavi offered, determined to get Kanda on the dance floor.

Kanda mentally weighed his options. He could sit here and hope that Lavi would relent and go find some other dance buddy which would take a while or go stand beside Lavi while he dances so he could leave.

His chances with going with Lavi to 'dance' but actually slipping away sounded better to him. He had tea and quiet waiting for him back home. So Kanda abruptly stood up breaking off Lavi's pathetic begging (oh God, people were _staring_) and started pushing his way through the crowd looking for relatively not-so crowded spot, Lavi eagerly following.

As Kanda found a spot a new song started up that he didn't recognize and Lavi started jumping up and down like an excited little kid in a candy store.

"Oh! Oh!" Lavi gushed like a girl nodding to the beat that Kanda, quite frankly, wished he'd never gotten the chance to hear. It was obnoxious and the lights weren't making it any better.

Kanda rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and just watched Lavi 'dance'.

_Yes i can see her  
Cause every girl here wanna be her..  
Ohh she's a diva  
They feel the same and i wanna meet her  
They say she low down, its just a roomer and i dont believe them  
they say she needs to slow down  
the baddest thing around town_

Oh, and the lyrics weren't helpful either. Kanda looked around and saw the sea of bodies jumping up and down, waving their arms in the air and grinding and singing along. He looked back over at Lavi who was snickering to himself but Kanda _didn't want to know._

_She is nothing like a girl you've ever seen before, nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe  
I'm trying find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful_

The way that booty movin i cant take no more

Have to stop what I'm doing so I can pull her close  
I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful

And then of course, Lavi up and went and _invaded_ Kanda's personal space and leaned over to his ear to practically yell the next part of the song at him making sure that Kanda heard it loud and clear.

_(Damn Girl)  
Damn __**Yuu's**__ a sexy chick, a sexy chick  
Damn __**Yuu's **__a sexy chick, damn girl  
Damn __**Yuu's**__ a sexy chick, a sexy chick  
Damn __**Yuu's**__ a sexy chick, damn girl!_

Kanda promptly decked Lavi in the face as hard as he could (probably the hardest he'd ever hit the redhead too) and stormed out of the club leaving behind a half laughing half groaning in pain Lavi sprawled on the dance floor.


End file.
